Home, A lovely nest!
Home and family are our cradles. Home is a nest of heart touching love and family is a gift swaddled with love; the fortunes of lifetime which would never be forgotten even if separated; the fragrance of memories that toddles behind us. From those cradles which molded ‘us’ as we are, we learned honesty and the virtues of life, or that is from where we should learn.
Home is not just a building to have food without paying or a shelter to sleep without drenching in rain. It’s the pure breeze of cultural habits that must blow from that dwelling. Dad and Mom have to be mentors to their children. It is them who should teach children to value virtue and truth above everything else. It is them who should tell children that a penny earned in right means is worthier than a million dollars earned in an undeserving way. It is again the parents who should teach the best lesson to their children that eternal peace can be obtained only through a sincere and virtuous life. Children should learn from their parents that good neighbors and relatives are among the best investments of this life.
We should enlighten them about love- the water of life. We need to constantly remind them that it is with love we should conquer others, and it is with love we must fill within. Children need to learn: “only piety and the purity of life will be benefiting in the hereafter, contentment attained through charity is better than anything else, good friendships are the best achievement in life, humility can create great revolutions and pride will ruin ourselves.”
Even in the tearful trails of life, they should display the fortitude to live with a smile; should attain the courage to stand stern in all situations without succumbing; should learn to stay away from and fight against evil; should know to share affection and mercy with all living beings. They should acquire stability, be steadfast in truth however bitter it may be, (to understand)only truth wins and not to fear anyone while standing in the path of truth. They also need to know that teachers are the ever glowing lamps on our ways, efforts are the foundations of a successful life, greatness of a person is in the greatness of his mind and the value of a person is according to value of his words.
They should acquire such a persistence that none of their commitments should be left unfulfilled, and would never hurt anyone with words or glance. They should proudly perceive that the best activity to do under the sky is for the religion of Allah, victory of the life lies in learning and practicing the teachings of Quran and our hero is not any actor or actress who performs illogically, but the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) who brought the greatest message of truth.
They should be trained so that even when the alluring evils blossom in front of them, they are able to guard their eyes, ears and minds in purity. They should perceive that no virtuous deed is trivial. They should be trained to speak honestly, to interact with selflessness and to live without causing harm. Every moment, they should remember that it is the soul-touching relationship with Allah that leads to virtues and guards from sins. How much ever higher they go in life, they should bear in mind that parents are their root and lamp. They should absorb that prayer is the energy of our life and religion is the asset worth preserving. It is Mom and Dad who should share these lessons with their children. Home is the school where these should be taught.
Home is the pavilion where virtues can sprout and blossom. Virtues growing inside are more significant than the immensity of the abode. Children should witness and acquire virtues from within the home and it is parents who should make the suitable ambiance for this.
Quranic verse “O ye who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire whereof the fuel is men and stones, over which are set angels strong, severe, who resist not Allah in that which He commandeth them, but do that which they are commanded” (66: 6) , should guide us. We should ensure that no such ambiance is created in our home that will make ourselves or our children closer to the Hell fire. Prophet (PBUH) enunciated “Maintain a constant relationship with your children and teach them good manners.”
In a hadit transmitted by Thirmidi (1277), Abu Umamah narrated: A man asked, “Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) what rights can parents demand from their children?” He replied, “They are your Paradise and your Hell.” In short, parents can lead children in the way of Heaven or they can mislead them to the way of Hell. When asked “what are the rights of my child”, Prophet told, “You make his name and behavior good and ensure him stay at a good place”.
Actions speak louder than words. Leading a pious and moral life themselves is better for parents, than repeatedly advising their children. Such is the exemplar Prophet (PBUP) has put forward. Prophet (PBUP) taught that parents should give food in each other’s mouth in front of children. The inner beauty of love must be conveyed to children through such scenes .
The life of Ali (RA) and Fathima (RA) were filled with a lot of trails and tribulations. They had to suffer through financial difficulties. Prophet’s advises were the only solace for his daughter and son in law. Fathima was an ideal wife; a believer, who always maintained piety and maturity. She never indulged in anything which caused uneasiness to her partner. She would accept whatever is given by her beloved; never complained or grieved; and hence they maintained a marvelous relationship. They lived like friends. Both were brought up together. Prophet (PBUP) had fondled both of them and they were toddled by hanging on his hands. Prophet (PBUH) did not separate them in their later life too. When he understood Ali’s desire to hold Fathima in marriage, he fulfilled it gladly. Prophet woke his daughter and son in law up for ‘Thahajjud’ (nightly prayers). He kissed both of them holding together, whenever he met them.
Once, Fathima shared a wish with her beloved. “I am craving for dates, I know we are going through severe financial difficulties, yet I am craving for it”. She conveyed this to her beloved, without being obstinate. Though Ali (RA) had many distresses, he did not deny his beloved’s longing. Grabbing the money he had kept for crucial situations, he headed to the market. As he was hurrying up back home, after purchasing the dates, there he saw a hungry, gangly old man. That face reflected the weariness of his life. He pleaded for help from Ali. Ali (RA) was left with no money to help. He was only having the dates that he bought to fulfill the wish of his beloved wife. Ali didn’t think twice, gave all dates to the old man. As he reached home, he explained this to his loving wife Fathima (RA) and asked “Do you have any dislike that I did so?”
“No, Alhamdulillah. Sweetness of this news is more pleasing than dates. ” – Fathima replied.
What a beautiful approach; not even a single line of anger; no whining. It was the hope in Allah and the quest to strive in His path that made their life exquisite.
As far as a believer is concerned, all his deeds should be aimed at the Heaven. Nothing should be there in life that tread to the Hell. Married life is not exempted from this. Marriage should not result in the loss of Heaven, i.e. there should not be situations involving us in vices, motivating to do Haraam (forbidden) or getting into wrong doings. We have to live in Heaven like how we lived in this world; together with our spouses, children and parents.
The path of religion is that of victory. Even when scarcities and adversities are our companions, for our minds to remain unscathed and the relationships intact, it should be fraught with the religion- Islam. And indeed, that’s the milestone to Heaven.