Towards Your Women
In the history of Prophet Musa or Moses (Alaihi Salaam), the girls whom he had helped informs their father about him. That father sends his eldest daughter to take him to their home. Accepting that invite, Musa (AS) reaches their home. Afterwards, the eldest daughter describes about Musa (AS) to her father: “Indeed he is strong and the trustworthy” (Quran 28:26).
How could that girl delineate a man in this manner even though she hadn’t met him before? How was she convinced that he is trustworthy? Wasn’t that because he walked behind her till her home in the valley all the way from near the well (where they met), and still she couldn’t find any uncomfortable acts from him?
Every woman is like this. It is by his personality and dignity a woman evaluates a man. On the other hand, a man’s evaluation of a woman will be mostly based on her beauty and glamour. And hence Allah ordered woman to cover most part of her body. Man has to cover comparatively lesser part of his body. That means, it is not the physique or complexion of a man that a woman considers.
Islam has kept stringent boundaries and restrictions between a man and a woman. Allah constantly reminds us not to transgress these boundaries when dealing with the other gender. Because, it is a relation that has increased possibilities to cross the limits. Allah has forbidden a women being isolated and traveling together with a non Maharam. Staring at each other lustfully is also prohibited. It is reported in a hadith that Prophet (PBUH) dissuaded Ali (RA) as he was staring at a beautiful tribal woman for long time. Prophet also advised us that we may look only once to identify the person and any gaze after that is for Satan. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) advised: “O Ali, do not follow one glance with another, for you may be allowed the first but not the second.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2701)
Sura Al-Noor (chapter 24) of Noble Qur’an discusses the etiquette and guidelines for the relationship between men and women. The verses 30 and 31 in this chapter are thought provoking. Through these verses, Allah closes the very first door of any act that might lead to adultery and other immoral and illicit relations. The decree is to lower the gazes when a man and woman glance to each other. In the 3rd verse of the same chapter, Allah associates adulterer to a nonbeliever. Prophet (PBUH) once said “The best among you is the one who is the best towards his wife” (Hadith – Muslim, #3466) ” Qur’an specifies man as the protector of woman. Most respected of men is the one who adapts and acts patiently towards the varying behaviors of his wife whom he possessed through a very strong agreement. That means, to his wife as well as to the other women, one should behave with dignity and must converse with them honestly. Didn’t prophet (PBUH) warn us that woman is fragile like a crystal? (Sahih Muslim)
Once Aysha (RA) rapped a plate of food that Prophet (PBUH) affectionately offered her. Prophet gathered the broken pieces without outrage. Upon seeing that Ayesha (RA)’s mind changed. See how psychologically Prophet handled this situation! He was in-effect teaching us how to behave with woman in such occasions.
Psychologists are of the opinion that woman’s behaviors are affected by the changes in their body. This may affect their approaches as well. A Husband should be able to distinguish all these and act accordingly.
In this era, isn’t it becoming very rare where a woman denotes a man as ‘trustworthy’? Many of the men are trying to harm women with their comments and gazes and thus denying her the right to walk around freely. Many of them are not ready to recognize a woman’s personality and merely see them as a ‘chick’.
A man’s behavior towards women is a good means to measure his personality. To the women, who play an essential role in making every man’s life a bliss, his treatment should be with respect, lenience and mercy.