Who is our problem – Others?
Many of us have the tendency to accuse others for things that affect us adversely, haven’t we? Some complain that Allah has abandoned them and put them in troubles [Asthagfirullah]. Even those who realize that the reason for their problems lies in their own perceptions and approaches, still found to be focusing on others’ shortcomings. Haven’t you noticed this? Often, you meet Muslim brothers/sisters “So, how is everything brother?”- “Alhamdulillah, by His Grace all is good!”. However, as the conversation advances, people open their bundles of complaints and distresses; they forget to recall all the mercy and blessing Allah has been showering upon them.
Now, move on to youths- many of them tend to accuse parents, siblings etc for their faults and distresses. When problems spike in family, relationships etc, many husbands blame their wives and vice versa. Older people and youngsters complain about each other; a few always find faults on their neighbors; students put all blame on teachers or friends for their poor performance on academics; employees complain about their bosses, colleagues…and so on. This fatal virus seems to be spreading onto some of Muslim leaders and societies as well. They blame each other for the problems sprouting in the society, people accuse other countries or cultures for all the serious problems faced by Muslims and Islamic countries and the list goes on..
Yes, truly there exist people with poisonous minds and negative thoughts. Qur’an reminds us that:
“O you who have believed, indeed, among your wives and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them. But if you pardon and overlook and forgive – then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” (Qur’an 64:14).
This is an amazing exhortation from Qur’an. There are some more reminders in Qur’an to be cautious against the wicked tricks of enemies. This does not mean that all of them are our enemies and responsible for the difficulties that we face today. If we can lead a life in accordance with the commandments of Allah, He will help us against all enemies, In Sha Allah. But what will affect us badly in this world and hereafter will be our own deeds.
“What comes to you of good is from Allah, but what comes to you of evil, [O man], is from yourself. And We have sent you, [O Muhammad], to the people as a messenger, and sufficient is Allah as Witness” [Qur’an 4:79).
“O you who have believed, upon you is [responsibility for] yourselves. Those who have gone astray will not harm you when you have been guided. To Allah is you return all together; then He will inform you of what you used to do”[Qur’an 5:105]
Aforementioned verses teach that the important matter is to flourish our lives with virtues and free ourselves from all vices. We can advice and correct others’ faults, however we can not blame them to justify our faults. If someone deliberately attacks or insults us and we are innocent in whatsoever, Allah will be there to help us. But, if the cause of aggression against us is our own bad deeds, then we solely will be held responsible for.
Therefore, to ensure that our dealings and involvements with others would not bring forth any loss in the here and the Hereafter, we must make our stands and approaches intact. As parents, if we have carried out all our duties towards children, and taught them dheen (religion), thereafter the children choose to live against the teachings of Islam and they turn against us, still Allah’s help will be there to safeguard us. Similar is the situation of each and everyone who makes their dealings with others intact. So, believers must refrain from the thoughts that others are responsible for the problems that we are in. According to Islam, our problems are from our own faults and others’ problems are from their deeds.
Everyone lives with a mindset developed through their own experiences in life. Many factors influence this development and based on this, people may view things differently and this will influence their responses too. It is against the nature of humanity to compel that everyone should think the same way we do. Our duty is over if we have explained our views and stands to others. We neither have to engage in quarrels or arguments with people who disagree nor we have to treat them with animosity.
For example, Qur’an has pointed out the errors in the belief of Jews and Christians, but at the same time it has mentioned the goodness possessed by them as a whole or individuals.
“And among the People of the Scripture is he who, if you entrust him with a great amount [of wealth], he will return it to you. And among them is he who, if you entrust him with a [single] silver coin, he will not return it to you unless you are constantly standing over him [demanding it]. That is because they say, “There is no blame upon us concerning the unlearned.” And they speak untruth about Allah while they know [it]” (Qur’an 3:75).
“You will surely find the most intense of the people in animosity toward the believers [to be] the Jews and those who associate others with Allah ; and you will find the nearest of them in affection to the believers those who say, “We are Christians.” That is because among them are priests and monks and because they are not arrogant” (Qur’an 5:82)
Qur’an mentions that the concept of trinity is wrong and monastery is not taught by Allah, but at the same time it points out the virtues in Christians. Unfortunately, many Muslim societies and organizations today are not ready to recognize the virtues in others, but only to put blames. Shouldn’t we correct this approach if it is the reason for others’ hostility towards us?